when God speaks

I've been hesitating to write this post. I'm not really sure what to say. See, sometimes it's easier to ignore what's happening than submit to the reality of it.

Lately, I've been hearing God speak to me. It first happened at the beach and I write about it in this post (you can click there to see it) from my other blog (you can click to see)...God speaking to my heart. At first He was that quiet, gentle voice whispering w/in me. I love those moments...when I'm quiet. Listening to God. Hearing from Him. Whispers of love. But there's more.

Lately, His talks w/ me have become a little louder. OK...a lot louder...more like shouts. You know...the kind you can't ignore...when it's coming from every direction? So, you may be asking, what is it He keeps shouting at me?

Well, I haven't really told anyone, b/c I'm a little nervous about what it actually means. You know...what He really has in store. But here goes.

"My child, I made you for more!"

Sounds sweet. Sounds exciting, right? But here's the thing. While I am doing what I feel He has called me to do at this given time, I just can't shake His voice. While I'm trying to figure out what this "more" really intells (I have my own guesses, but I can't say they are actually from Him), He's also been speaking to me about something else.

God has entrusted me with sooo much. So, what kind of job am I doing with what He's entrusted to me already?

Well, I could hide behind my running list. The involved church goer. The loving wife. The involved mommy. The classroom mom. The caring child. The faithful friend. The problem is, I can hide behind these things from anyone BUT the living God. He knows what He has entrusted to me...and He knows where I am failing. So, I must be honest...come out of my hiding...and just say it like it is.

I haven't been doing a good job teaching my kids God's Word. Now, if you know me, you know I could hide behind my excuses...those things I tell myself all the time. There's not enough time today. She's got to be in bed on time...she has a test tomorrow. I talk to her about You all the time. I shape her through life lessons for You. She reads the Bible at church. See, the problem is, I can hide behind these things from anyone BUT the living God. He knows what He has entrusted me with...and He knows where I am failing. So, again, I must be honest...come out of hiding behind my excuses...and just say it like it is.

I have not been giving God His rightly earned spot w/in my family every day. You see, my job as a parent has a lot, obviously, to do w/ me & my children...but not completely. Stay with my here. My job as a parent has everything to do w/ my relationship w/ God. He's the One who has given me this job, entrusted me w/ these precious lives, led me toward this amazing life of mommyhood. Because of that, I am responsible to Him as to how I perform this job. My time w/ my children is too short, too cluttered w/ other distractions, and much too precious for me to choose the path I've been on. Complacency. Thinking I have time...to shape, to grow, to nurture, to guide these little minds on the things of Christ. How can I do that if I don't have them in His Word DAILY?

Here we go again...I could hide behind the measuring stick. You know, the one that I use to measure the job I'm doing compared to other people? Now, of course, these are things I'd never say out loud...just within, where no one can hear, right? Boy, this is where it gets sticky. I taught her the books of the Bible over the summer...I don't hear other parents doing that. I take her to church regularly...lots of parents don't. I talk about Him daily...not just on Sunday like some parents. But He hears my running list as I heighten my parenting stick. He knows what He's entrusted me w/...and He knows where I'm failing. So, I have to come out of hiding behind my pride and say it like it is.

Comparing myself to others can always make me look better, because I get to pick who I'm comparing myself to. But if I look toward Christ, and I pull out that now not-so-handy measuring stick, well...I'm just a mess.

So, here it is. My time to step up. My time to rise to be what He's called me to be. My time to stop the excuses. It's time to be more. He can't entrust me with more if I'm not willing to use what He's given me for His good...for His glory. It begins today. So, today, I'm thankful that this thing called faith in my God is devouring my complacency. Today, I'm unwrapping this gift @ tuesdays unwrapped.

"from the one who is entrusted with much, much more will be asked" Luke 12:48