Tuesday, July 20, 2010

God is still speaking

while ebay is paying me nothing for this, if you happen to work for ebay, i'll gladly accept payment.
thank you and the end.
The adoption we feel led toward kindof feels like it's at a stand still at the moment.

I've thought about it so often, mostly with questions.

When?
Where?

And the question that has been weighing most heavily...
How will the finances come to allow it?

Lately, we've gotten lots of extra expenses flowing our way. Nothing to the point of unbearable, but rather, uncomfortable. Medical bills from Winkle's surgery, medical bills from my tests, upcoming fall clothes for the kids, bookbag, lunch box, and school supplies, continuing ed classes for me to keep my license, and the list goes on.

Some may see it as mere coincidence that these expenses began shortly after I began praying as to how God would open up the door for us financially to adopt. But here's the story God showed me...

Tinkle's book bag is too small for this year. I didn't want to go the cheap route & invest in a book bag that wasn't good quality only to have to purchase another one mid year. So, I began looking online, in magazines, & in the stores for "the" book bag. They aren't cheap. To be honest, it's not that we couldn't afford to buy the nicer book bag from the nicer store, but it wasn't an expense I wanted to add during this time. We try hard to live within our means & be good stewards of what the Lord has given us. This book bag came at a time I was questioning God. It came at a time where I was wondering how He would provide. Without being intentional about it, this book bag became a symbol of God's provision.

I have to be honest. I stressed over the book bag. Silly, I know. In the process of trying to find a cheaper alternative, I prayed, asked other's opinions on book bag quality, and asked others to be on the look out for me. Someone suggested I try ebay.

While ebay had a decent selection of book bags, finding the right size became difficult as all of them seemed to have monogrammed names already on them. Pre-monogrammed items has never been an option since Tinkle's name is not spelled the traditional way.

Type name brand, type "book bag".
Click.
Cute bag.
Good price.
Click.
Correct size.
Scroll down.
Already monogrammed...
with Tinkle's name...spelled the way she spells it.

While I know this may seem like a silly little story for some, I know God's hand was in it. While someone else ended up owning this book bag, this book bag was meant for Tinkle. Handpicked by Him. He was reminding me that He is in control. That He will provide. That He cares enough about the details, that He's spelling it all out for me.

For now, someone else may have this child, but this child was meant for our family. Handpicked by Him. He will provide. In His time. In His way.

Sunday, someone approached my husband & said he had a dream of a mission trip. We were there again with our family...but in this dream...we had another little girl.

So, today I'm thankful that God cares about the details of it all...down to a simple book bag. I'm linking up with Emily today for Tuesdays unwrapped.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

being a mama

I am a mama to 2 kids. Seriously. Sometimes I wake up completely excited all over again. The pure
J. O. Y. of these little ones sends me over the moon in excitement.

Maybe it's the struggle to have children that keeps me immensely in love with them. Maybe it's the amazing relationship I have with my own mother that keeps me totally over the top for them. Maybe it's struggles I faced as a child that has me completely convinced I have it all now.

Or maybe...

maybe it's Him.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3

The relationship I have with Him now.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above James 1:17a

The way He keeps my eyes focused on His goodness.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11a

His blessings. Maybe that's what keeps me so smitten over them. Yeah...it's Him.

Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift!  2 Corinthians 9:15

Join me at Emily's as I thank God for this time in my life.